Yes, I intended to say ‘buttercream blending’…because ‘frosting’ seems a touch too sweet for where my mama’s spirit resides in recent weeks. You see, my heart desires the smooth creaminess of harmony at home. But instead, I’m perpetually torn between my natural mothering nature and struggling to strike a balance as a step mom. It’s like trying to create something smoothly sweet out of a solid stick of butter and tasteless liquid cream.
Sometimes being brought to our knees is just what we need. It’s a strangely perfect posture to ponder, pray and look up into the purpose found in our Savior’s eyes. From this low, humble pose we often uncover gifts of gratitude and growth as we find our way to our feet.
You ever have ‘one of those days’? Well, I’ve had one of those months when it comes to mothering. You know, the kind when parenting almost paralyzes you and you feel like you might just fall off the sane wagon into the crazy cart? Oh, how I hope you can relate…but, either way, I’m going to live this out loud because I think all us moms are wading through the wreckage and doing uphill battles against the world. The details of our scenario don’t really matter because all moms already know the beautiful pain of purposeful parenting and the scars we suffer from when we stay the course.
Life is full of to do lists, over-committed schedules, moms who think less about themselves than their carpools…..and life is full of forgotten, missed or misused moments. We fill our moments with movement from place to place without much meaning. We strive towards success based on productivity and the possibility of somehow meeting our potential through what we get done in a day.
Dear, Sweet Daughter of Mine,
I love you so much.
No matter what is going on, whether we are having fun or we are having a problem, I want you to remember that I love you. Nothing you do or say can make me love you more or less because I already love you as much as a mama can love her girl!
My Dear Baby Girls,
There’s something I want you to know…so many things, actually. But, to start here’s what I want you to hear, really hear.
I love you more than you can even understand. It’s the kind of love my mommy heart never knew until I had you.
God planned you for me and me for you! He knit you together in my body and you grew into a real life baby! You started as a tiny person inside of me...amazing! That’s right, God created two of His perfect little people right inside of me and trusted me enough to raise you up for Him.
A familiar scene... I stand at my sink, gazing out the window at my babies who I bore. Bubbles in my hands and dirt on the dishes. Unfolded laundry laying on the couch while outside in my view my little ladies laugh and play, snicker and squabble. Those two girls are my people, my little people on loan to me from the Lord.
That’s right, the people in our lives are gifts we give back. God’s creation and our calling. Our children are laid in our laps for us to lead to a place where God’s purpose is played out in their lives now and in their futures.
When the questions come fast and furious and I see her wheels spinning, I know we’re in for a fretful evening. She’s not unlike most of us when worry sets in and we’re sent into a frenzy. Except she’s six.
Somehow my dear, sweet six year old possesses the mind of someone much older. Her wonderful kindergarten teacher emailed me early last year to tell me she, unfortunately, has a mind much too mature for her age. Others express awe at her insatiable curiosity and desire for understanding.
Have you ever wondered how home life turned into such a hurry, such a mad dash of daunting to dos and tendencies to pounce rather than pardon?
Oh, this is so revealing and ultimately ugly of me to announce. But, I have to believe the Oldham’s are not the only ones! (….right?....)
We were stuck in a slump. It started with me. I'll take full responsibility and call it a ‘single-mom-gone-sassy slump’ since I AM the adult setting the tone.